The List: Cutting our guests from 350 to 150

Due to us being in over our heads, actually just being wise about money and not booking a hall, our invite list just shrunk dramatically in the last hour. I think wedding planning is only stressful if you allow it to be. As I was pruning my list I realized that a lot of people were for selfish reasons e.g. who will give us a good gift. That's not what it's supposed to be about so I repented of my selfishness and started looking at the list with new eyes. I have successfully cut it down to 75 people. Clay will have to do his list tomorrow. Super hard, but it must be done. Portland we will see you soon. I'm not stressed. I'm not stressed. I think I need a drink now.

The Bouquet Part II

Today started off good, I woke up 30 minutes before I had to go to work, so once again my locks continue to dread themselves...until tomorrow afternoon when they will be washed and combed thoroughly, I promise. :) So I got dressed in a flash and ran out the door with enough time to stop and get some liquid poison to get me moving faster than I would have without. I get to work and get mentally and verbally attacked and want to bawl my eyes out the rest of the work day. I was praying the whole day that the Lord would comfort me where I was and that I would not be listening to the lies that were being thrown against me and that were persistently trying to form as the day went on and I was left with my thoughts. It helped that a few people were praying for me. I have great people in my life. After work I went over to Clay's house. He made me dinner, let me vent and surprised me with flowers. He's an excellent boyfriend if I must say so myself. We watched a movie that was supposed to be scary, at least I remembered that it was like 6? years ago. Not so much, but at least it was relaxing and I got to spend time with my man; I don't care what we're doing, it's time well spent.

There are five other buds and when the flower dies I am supposed to cut it off and another flower will bloom. How stinking cool, right? Plus my fave color. Done and done. I think I'll keep him. :)

As this is my first relationship ever, I think it goes without saying that I am learning a lot and being stretched a lot. It is so good though. It's crazy how many ways the Lord is revealing himself to me through Clay, there are so many ways I couldn't possibly list them all, but His kindness and selflessness is what I'm thinking of mainly presently. I'm learning how to communicate instead of keeping everything bottled up inside until there's so much hurt and tension and unsaid and forgotten actions, but not emotions (I can't seem to forget those), that my lid blows. Learning how to care for somebody else besides myself (cooking is so much fun again now that I have somebody to share it with!) and knowing that my actions, words, etc. are effecting more than just me now. Learning how to have a boyfriend and still have a semi-social life. I always said that I wouldn't be the girl that got a man and forgot all her friends, I was not about to be that heifer. I think I can pat myself on the back on this one for right now, if he lived closer though I'm almost positive this would not be the case. But alas.

Another biggie is learning how to not take compliments and love and kindness, etc. and find my affirmation in that. It is easy to do that, but it's not okay. These things are not bad in and of themselves, but I need to constantly find my affirmation in my first Love. Everything else will go well. It's definitely been an adventure and I'm definitely looking forward to the future. I love being with somebody who can and does make me laugh for hours on end. That's so important, I love laughing. If the saying is correct and laughter is the best medicine, than we're gonna live forever.

and ever.

The Bouquet

weToday started like a normal Wednesday. I woke up when I was finished dreaming, but it was about to be a wonderful Wednesday. I climb out of bed and check to see if Doc had emailed me anything important that I needed to know about the day, nope, but there was an email that made me smile and that pretty much set the tone for the remainder of the day. I made some coffee and got to read some of my MLJ book and then got ready for work. I really like Wednesdays because I can go in anytime I want as long as I'm at the office by 2 for our weekly meeting. So I was going to wash my hair but decided that I would wait until tomorrow, and I put my hair in a cute bun with a poof, very vintage. I guess my outfit was kinda vintage too because Doc complimented me saying how vintage and nice I looked. Why sank you Doc. :) So that was nice, but what was even nicer was this: When I pulled into my parking space that I have been parking in for the last two years there was something on the ground that stood out to me and I've never seen before out of the typical place in a grocery store. What was it? If you couldn't tell by the title of this post, it was a bouquet of flowers. Yes, and it was still in the cellophane wrapper. I got out and thought, "What the heck?" Was it the UPS man? (That would have been really creepy, but I wouldn't put it past him.) Who would really drop a thing of flowers while carrying them? And then I thought and chuckled, "Somebody's Valentines Day didn't go as planned." These are the things I think, I can be mean. "What! No roses, I don't want these daisies!!" (chucking them out the window) I don't know, but either way, they were in front of my daily parking spot and all I said was, sank you Jesus. I felt loved, even if it came at the expense of somebody else's disgust. Work was really good and then I got to fill up my gas tank, go to Charming Charles and spend 10 bucks on 10 pieces of clearance jewelry and saved a whopping 72 bucks off the clearance price. I filled up my gas tank and bought a lot of groceries. Sank you Jesus. Yes, today was a good day. Now it's time for me to make some dinner, tea and snuggle with my by myself under all my covers and read until I fall asleep. Goodnight world.

So I'm Not Invincible

My plan this whole time. :) Just kidding, I'm not contagious.

Experience Tells Me

There are a few lessons that no book can ever teach me:

1. No coffee tastes as good as the bean smells
2. Coffee should not be chugged, especially when warm, this results in mud gut
3. Breakfast pretty much always tastes better at dinner
4. Pine State Biscuits has the best homemade biscuits in the United States.
5. Everyday I don't wash my hair a new dread starts to form, but it just starts looking better.
6. Sweater tights are amazing.
7. I have the best twin in the world

Strengths Finder Class

So for the next 5 weeks I will be attending a Strength Finders class, typically I don't like personality tests or even tests of the nature, but a friend finally convinced me. These are my top 5 "strengths" in order, which are very much interesting, true and so good to know. I'm thinking about shelling out the extra money to find out the rest of my 34. hmm...

Adaptability

You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.

Belief

If you possess a strong Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring. These values vary from one person to another, but ordinarily your Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics—both in yourself and others. These core values affect your behavior in many ways. They give your life meaning and satisfaction; in your view, success is more than money and prestige. They provide you with direction, guiding you through the temptations and distractions of life toward a consistent set of priorities. This consistency is the foundation for all your relationships. Your friends call you dependable. “I know where you stand,” they say. Your Belief makes you easy to trust. It also demands that you find work that meshes with your values. Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you. And guided by your Belief theme it will matter only if it gives you a chance to live out your values.

Input

You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.

Intellection

You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person’s feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.

Positivity

You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won’t allow it. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor.

The weekend is so close

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